#still glad you're here

[chronal-anomaly]

This icon is so sexy for what -

anyway. I didn't do anything and yet I still remind you all: i love you, I'm glad you're here, and it's a good day

[vaguely-concerned]

the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)

after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)

the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol

lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him

[isjasz]

[Day 341] Despite everything

[xkcd-for-that]

It's nice to see you back 💙

Thank you, it's nice to be back 🧡

I recently changed teams at work and the difference it's made in my life has been tremendous, and I'm very glad to be able to get back to the important things in life, like responding to random tumblr posts with xkcd comics!

[canisalbus]

*gasp* ITS THE PERSON WITH THE SICK DOG ANTHRO DESINGS AND INTERESTING AS FUCK LORE WHO'S ART I FOUND UNCREDITED ON PINTEREST!! I HAVE FOUND YOU IN THE WILD! FUCK YEAH

.

[wings-of-ink]

Behind the curtain...

Lunan: *Making good progress on Chapter 5*

Background Thoughts: "You're on track so far, you can probably do that side story you had in mind for December."

Lunan: "Oh yeah, and I wanted to do something special to celebrate when we reach 2000 followers too...I missed 500 and 1000, I really want to do something for 2k."

Background Thoughts: "Good idea, have you checked how close we are?"

Lunan: "Ha ha, no silly, that's miles away."

Logic & Planning Dept: "You should check so we can estimate a timeframe and make a schedule."

Lunan: "Later, I'm sure it's fine."

Logic & Planning: "Check now or I will wake you up at 2AM."

Lunan: "Fiiiine....Jerk."

Logic & Planning: "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."

[exdeputysonso]

Brad Dourif as David Stearns | The Wilding (2016)

[killerandhealerqueen]

Finally watched Lap of Legends...and even though Williams fucked over Logan, this is something that they can never take away from him. Ever. This was his time to shine and boy he fucking did

Also...this was a cool ass shot

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

🌸 !!CHAPTER ELEVEN POSTED!! 🌸

Title: Four Walls

Tags: slow burn, domesticity, friends to lovers, smut, pining post sias/pre am era

Summary: Disillusioned with LA and on the heels of a breakup, Alex goes to stay with Miles in London.

[gallusneve]

happy new year and thank you for being here

[tenderhooked]

camcorder kidnapping sounds soooooooo good so far! So excited for when we can finally read it!! ❤️

OH WAH... THANK YOUUUUUU!!!! i am having a Lot of fun with it and i've powered through on it much much faster than i was expecting so.... expect an update sooner rather than later!!! for now, here's a snippet :)

There’s a man standing outside, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is uncovered—Catherine’s spine prickles at the sight. Kidnappers don’t show their faces unless they’re either very stupid, or very certain that their captives will never have the opportunity to identify them. And it is a rather unpleasant face: carved of jagged peaks, weathered with deep lines and a sternly-set mouth. He’s closer to her age than to River’s. His eyes are slate-flat, like a shark’s, seeking blood in the water.  Unconsciously, Catherine laces her fingers around River’s nearest hand and squeezes tight. “You removed your blindfolds,” the man says to them. “… Y-yes,” says Catherine at length, praying her voice doesn’t quake as much as her body is. “I did.” The man nods slowly, like molasses. And then, with unerring accuracy, he lunges forward, grasps her by the wrists, and wrenches her out onto the ground, leaving her to collapse to her knees on hard-packed dirt. It hurts, it does—but not nearly as terribly as the hard, efficient slap he gives her right cheek. It’s executed with such expertise that it takes her a dumb moment to register what he’s done, and then she becomes aware that she’s pressed up against the gravel, grit in her mouth, a hot welt rising fast on her cheekbone. She blinks, ears ringing, and pushes herself back up, onto her knees. The man appraises her from above, an almost amused glint in those shark’s eyes.  “Don’t you fucking touch her, you—” The amusement vanishes as swiftly as it had arrived, as though it hadn’t existed at all. He pivots towards the van and hauls River out the same as he did to her, sending him to a kneeling position on the ground. But River, unlike her, appears to have maintained some semblance of a spine; he spits at their captor’s boots and snarls, “I said, don’t you fucking touch her—” The man takes River’s chin in the clutch of two meaty fingers. “I suggest,” he says, a cruel smirk curving his mouth into a scythe, “that you keep your pretty little mouth shut.”

[tea-and-secrets]

It's new years eve. Didn't have the guts to kill myself this year. Hopefully next year.

.

[wernerherzogs]

maybe this is a little mean to say but i'm so glad that canon bi-buck drew in a bunch of spn fans because now buddie fic/buddieposting finally has some teeth to it lol. for years the vibes were mostly like. heartstopper for adults with two or three well known sickos that added a little variety. but the past year has felt leaving the stifling company christmas party with your coworkers that you're actually friends with to hotbox in the parking lot.

and as the founder of summer of infidelity i'm just really thankful for your presence here and i'm holding hands with all of you who've made this fandom a lot more fun 💕

omg stop this is soooo nice..... I LOVE THIS. AND YOU 🥹 we're truly all holding hands and doing our best sickos laugh every day! 😌💋

[postcardsfromheapside]

How I sleep knowing I didn't expect Lucanis to be some Shadow Daddy romantasy character before the game came out, and he was instead exactly like Mary Kirby said he'd be.

This is also how I sleep knowing my Bone Daddy is exactly the kind of freak we thought he'd be.

[serpentface]

What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?

It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.

They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.

So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.

Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).

The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.

The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.

So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.

Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.

[corallapis]

We're opening up a rift in the Braccatolian space. Won't see us coming. Kind of scary. Then stop. Once the Empire is established, and there's a new Gallifrey in the heavens, maybe then it stops... the drumming, the never ending drumbeat. Ever since I was a child, I looked into the Vortex — that's when it chose me. The drumming, the call to war. Can't you hear it?